It’s been a long time; I shouldn’t have left you. Without a dope blog to click through. Times up, sorry I left you. I’ve been busy and stuff. You know how life is. Same thing you tell people when you haven’t seen each other for a while (or just don’t message them back on whatever the hell app). That’s now what I’m telling you.
That’s a terrible way to open a blog post. Since I do this for a living, I’m intentionally going to do things that people wouldn’t pay me to do.
For one, first-person narrative. Some clients pay me to write in first person, but I’m writing as if I were them, and the goal is still to produce informative content. So, I’ll be creating narrative blog posts.
The goal of none of these blog posts is to teach you stuff. Just to mix it up. I’m going for pure time wasting entertainment.
All of the links in this blog post are strictly going to old school hip hop. Let me DJ your reading experience with YouTube links, damnit. For added fun, try to guess the song before you click through.
What The Fuck I’ve Been Up To
The last thing I wrote was in early 2014 and was an attempt to take this blog into a more informative direction. As you can see, I didn’t stick with it.
What happened between then and almost 2016? Well, once upon a time, not long ago, when I was in Asia and lived life slow, I got involved with a startup and blew off freelance writing. I did just enough work to pay my minimal bills, and put long hours into the business.
It didn’t work out. Other stuff happened, and I came back to America. I slowly began rebuilding my freelance career. Now, I earn a livable and reliable wage.
I rented a house in Boise for a year. It was a decent time, I spent a ton of time with family – which was the point. Other than that, it was largely boring.
Then, I bought a Jeep and cruised down to Phoenix in my ’04. Spent more time with different family and friends, then bought a camper to live in. I’m now living in the camper full time behind a friend’s house in the desert on the outskirts of Phoenix.
That pretty much brings us up to speed by painting with the broadest of brushes. Now let’s Bob Ross it.
An Upgrade of a Former Plan
Those who knew me around 2008-2010 know entirely too much about the “Van Plan.” In my defense of the lazy name, I wasn’t a paid writer yet. It rhymed and was easy to say in conversation, so get off my back about it.
As you might imagine, the plan was to live in a van. A Chevy Astro, to be precise (AWD, of course). I built a bunk in it and got it ready for full time living. At its peak, it was a pretty efficient use of space and satisfied most of my major needs. I had a few grand saved up and was going to just depart and see how long I could go.
I hoped to do it indefinitely, wandering around, living minimally. I planned to do odd jobs on Craigslist, dumpster dive and resell thrift store finds on Craigslist.
It wasn’t a very good plan, if I’m being honest. It had its charm and had a nice spirit about it, but it had one fatal flaw – no independent cream (I realize that sounds like a masturbation pun and I guess now it is).
I likely would’ve ended up living in a van and working in various call center or fast food jobs, then floating on that money for however long, and repeat. I was pretty much doing that while stationary in Phoenix, so that’s not a terrible outcome.
I took a few trips in the van to Boise and around Northern Arizona, but some stuff happened and it all fell apart.
Now – to the present. A camper.
I Bought a 1970 Banner Camper
A nice invoice cleared about a month ago, so I bought a camper. Cost me $800. It’s a 20 footer and needs work. The plumbing might be alright; I haven’t tried using it yet. I have to cap off some pipes and rebuild the bathroom, but all the important parts might work (I bought it assuming they won’t).
You can outsource all the functions of a bathroom to gyms, truck stops, gas stations and grocery stores. That, and parking near friends and family and bumming their bathroom. The water heater is propane powered, and I have no faith in using propane in something this old. So, using the plumbing in the winter without a water heater would probably ruin the system anyway.
Fuck off, plumbing. There’s free bathrooms all over the god damn place. When there’s not, there’s nature.
Electricity, though! I need you to make money. As such, I invested in a solar setup that cost about $500, including shipping and tax. The setup is comprised of a basic solar kit, two golf cart batteries and an inverter. You might think that’s a weird amount since it’s almost as much as the camper. I can disassemble the setup and put it on something else, or just sit it all on the ground anywhere, and it still works.
I could put it on my Jeep, your Jeep, your spare bedroom, your friend’s Jeep or a tree house.
The solar setup does not power my fridge, the large burner on my hotplate or the high setting of my space heater. I consider all of those acceptable. It also doesn’t power the low setting of my space heater. I consider that unacceptable and I’m investigating a solution.
The setup does power all my consumer tech. I can charge everything and power my second monitor. It plugs directly into the electrical system via the inverter. Thanks to a recent toast related incident, I discovered the breaker doesn’t work and had to buy myself a new laptop. I’ll be circumventing this old ass electrical wiring going forward.
Man, now I’m boring myself. Let’s talk about money.
Paying for Living in a Camper with the Internet
I like phrasing how I make money in different ways to illustrate how ridiculous it is:
- I push buttons for an extended period of time and earn intangible credits that fund the rest of my life.
- I open up word documents, type in them for a while, then sell them for more than you’d think.
- I mine the internet for gold.
What I actually tell people is that I’m a freelance writer. A closer description is that I provide content marketing services. I don’t usually get into that, freelance writer is easier, followed up by saying “blog posts and articles.”
The most arrogant ways I’ve thought of phrasing my job are:
- You know when you Google things to solve arguments? I write the results.
- When you start a topic with, “I read an article recently,” I maybe wrote it.
Those are actually the most accurate as well. The style of writing I do aims to dominate the search engine rankings. Not so much by smashing keywords into spammy shit – that stopped being effective years ago. Now, it’s all about quality. You want to attract links naturally.
So, there’s some percentile chance that you’ve read something I’ve written. 99% of the work I’ve done is incognito. I’m not just selling the work; I’m selling the rights to use it under whatever name they want.
Really, I ghost write.
It’s way common, too. Most articles you read on most websites are not usually written by the name they’re published under.
People who are into getting credit (or ‘getting published’) typically make less money in the beginning. Ideally, they maybe reach a certain point, then they make more money. Very few past that certain point. If you don’t try to make a name for yourself, you’ll make more money faster. I was making $1,000 per month within my first month freelancing.
Just the Beginning
The time since my last post has largely been spent thinking of a master plan (skipped the intro on that one for you). I came back to Thailand with no cash inside my hand. Getting back into writing has gone splendidly, but it’s just the beginning.
I’m not going to go into detail about a plan that consists of dozens of word documents and spreadsheets, but I call it Project MDH. It’s a six-year long endeavor and concludes on my 35th birthday.
It consists of creating 7-10 different online businesses that make use of contracting and scalable software solutions to monetize the Internet in different ways. None of them are based on affiliate links and stuff like that, they are all legitimate business models.
Where is this all coming from? People have paid me to write about how they make money online. Like, a ton of people. I’m not jacking anyone’s business mode. During the research for their work I gained a broad understanding of how other people mine the Internet for gold.
Beyond that, I’ve niched down. I be to tech what key be to lock. I’ve written about countless pieces of software that accomplish a wide variety of purposes. Most of them aim to help people make money, and do so as efficiently as possible.
Over time, ideas have coalesced. How could they not? I started writing down ideas on spreadsheets, researching them and refining them.
The next few years of efforts are already in motion now. Every business is focused on working with high quality people, paying them a great wage, giving them all the tools they need, and building greatness together. Every business is related to every other business. Every business will be fully pursued. No business will be half-stepped.
That’s not what this is about though. This is about living in a camper.
I’ll be writing first person narratives about my experiences living in a camper semi-transiently whilst executing a ridiculous plan in the digital landscape. The focus here will be on adventures and experiences. I’ll tell you about the good days and probably about the bad ones.
If you’d like to be notified of new posts, subscribe with your email address in the obvious spot. You’ll receive an email with the headline of the post as the subject, maybe a quick few sentences and a link to the post. Let’s not make this relationship any more complicated than that.
I guess that’s the conclusion.